That Relationship is Going to Kill You

In light of Valentine’s Day approaching many are single both because you are bitter from a previous string of relationships, your heart is broken, and you feel like love has let you down. If any of the preceding applies to your situation, you may just want to read a little further. Even if it doesn’t you still may want to go ahead a read the whole thing.

Many singles, young, old, or stuck in the middle, suffer from the insecurity of loneliness. Relationships now are like accessories, everyone has to have one to compliment them, but the truth remains many of you are not ready for one. The media subliminally tells us that we need to be in a relationship or have a love life to feel good about ourselves. With the dating reality shows such as, “Flavor of Love,” “I Love New York,” “The Bachelor and Bachelorette,” and “The Ultimate Merger,” to put a few out there; we have become a society constantly seeking the validation from relationships.  That was NOT God’s plan for His children. He did not intend for us to be in incompatible, dating machines.  The theories “sow your oats,” or “fish in the sea,” is a lie from the enemy to stop the creation and longevity of families and marriages.

When God spoke creation into existence, He pronounced one thing after another to be good. His remark, “‘it is not good that man should be alone,'” pointed out the world’s first problem—loneliness. God had a ready solution: “‘I will make a helper suitable for him'” Genesis 2:18. “Suitable helper” may also be translated “partner” or “a helper who is an exact correspondence, a companion.”

When Adam saw the animals before him, he could name them all but could not relate to any of them. But when God created Eve, Adam exclaimed, “Now this is someone I can relate to; someone who can understand me and someone whom I can understand! This is what I call a soul mate!” Well, not quite, but you can read this familiar foundational passage on marriage in Genesis 2:23. In the verses that follow, the couple stands together in unity and feels no shame. They are naked with each other, not merely physically, but emotionally, psychologically and spiritually.

Many people put their relationship with God on the “back burner” in order to develop a romantic relationship that does not fit God’s equation for their lives. More often than not, they bank on the fact that they can make things right with God later. And they certainly can. What many fail to realize is that when they eventually do make things right with God, they will realize the wrongness of their choice of entering into that relationship.

A good relationship requires two people who understand what makes one another tick. I would ask anyone considering a relationship or marriage with an unbeliever to consider this important matter: If your life is motivated by God and you are all wrapped up with who Jesus is, and how He’s changed you and how you want to change the world for Him; and if that’s really the great passion of your life—can you jeopardize your soul with someone who says, “Oh, you believe in Jesus? Glad you’re into that, but it’s not my thing.”?

How can the most intimate human relationship be truly intimate when one partner cannot understand the most important thing in the other’s life? The unbeliever cannot comfort you with the truth of God’s word, cannot encourage you to be more for God, cannot rejoice over the spiritual discoveries you make. A spiritually mixed relationship or marriage can never become the complete relationship that God intended.

Any believer who dates or considers marrying an unbeliever you are endangering your own spiritual life, and even if  you pull through successfully, the marriage will not be what it could or should have been; because of the painful scars that were inflicted.

Your witness to an unbeliever is often silenced by your desire to make a good impression or keep the peace. In other words, you compromise what you believe in order get what YOU want and not what God has for you.  You also cannot depend on the validation of your family and friends, because they will lead you WRONG.

Bottom line is you cannot “Missionary Date.” You desire should be to be with someone with the same beliefs as you have. If you have a lot in common but disagree when it comes to spiritual matters then you are “unequally yoked.” The Bible says, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” II Corinthians 6:14

If you are involved in a relationship with an unbeliever, and are not married, I would urge you to think very seriously about ending this relationship. God’s Word must be obeyed.

I pray that this has given you insight and confidence in the Lord during this commercialized season of “love.”

Just Call Me Justified.


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